Declaration no. 1

I AM FAMOUS.

I will kiss your earth

Dear computer,

Thanks for being so fucked up. I have enjoyed you wrecking my work that I have just managed to do halfway and have not had the chance to save. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much have your deeds helped me by creating such lovely commotion. Anyway, I hope that you would screw up soon, preferably everytime you suspect that I am working on something really important. I await your faithful visits.

Prick.

The new semester starts tomorrow!! What sorrow..

Is there any situation in this world where I can be on holiday 24/7? Face it, any kind of work sucks!

I am about to get into the rat race in a matter of months, and the prospect of this happening seemed so dull and lifeless. There don't seem to be much meaning to working my ass off but that is survival.

The ideal job that I would be happy to do is move around to various places to meet people of all walks of life. What do I do? Gossip and debate about everything! The job scope would be to raise an issue that is important or not-so, and to have a healthy debate about it. Right or wrong, not a problem. The purpose is to prove that I am right. Hahahahhaha!

A job in sales?!! You gotta be kidding. I won't want to be paid to kiss someone's ass. Kill me, and do it fast.

Hire me as a professional bitch. Not the animal variety. I am damn good at it that with fine grooming, I can be a legend! No kidding. I am a good multitasker in bitching. While I am bitching about that girl in pink shorts, I can at the time do a good observation and taking down details of the cute guy two tables to the left, and that lady with that chihuahua parking her car across the street. Yes, hire me.

I will work long hours. I have a steady base of loyal staff that would stick through thick and thin. The customer is always right. Besides, I love this job.

Will life be less dull this way?

My second degree!

The University of Blogging Presents to roachz An Honorary Bachelor of Self Portraiture Majoring in Attention Seeking Signed Dr. GoQuiz.com ®

Username:

Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

Funny huh?

The Enigmatic Pseudoschizophrenic

I was aghast when retarius (yes, without the capital “r”) mentioned in everyday rockstars that Marylin Manson was a phony. He didn’t exactly say that he was a phony, but as a person who highly appreciates “original” expression of one’s self, I was disappointed to find that an icon such as himself actually “borrowed” a personality from another person. How could he?? He is (no, was) an icon of our generation. Parents would beg to differ (he may not be the best of role models), but one can’t deny that he is one of the highly original-looking punter around.

Is acting like a don't-give-a-shit superstar another way of conforming to another of society's mould as well? It seems that there are moulds everywhere, there is no way one can be unique anymore. A somebody might have defined and commercialized a specific genre for people to conform to or as a yardstick. There is no space to be brand new. What does it mean when you say we want to be uniquely you? Is there still space for personal (truly original) expression of the self without overlapping with or conforming to an existing standard?

The so-called “society” does not only consist of the “normal” people nowadays. Under one society as a whole, there are a few societies within it, the “normal” and the “alternative”, and also the “ambiguous”. In the past, the war was between the normal and the alternative. The “ambiguous” were born after that (they were originally the don’t-give-a-piss).

Each branch of societies consists of other inner branches as well. Each and every of these groups have their own niches and they hold on tight to it. Everybody wants a personality despite that there are those that in the past branched out from mainstream because they didn’t want to be categorized or labeled. Now, the label-less wants a label. When there is a label, there will be a set of rules that come with it to define it. And yes, you are free to join the club by following the above mentioned criteria…

If there are so many niches out there, where can the aspiring “originals” find their own niche?

What does that leave us? I bet the most “mildly-labeled” niche is the schizophrenic. Yes, having a split personality does make you a “labeled” person (you are schizophrenic, remember? There are still a few points for u to conform to join the club though). The best thing is, you can mix-and-match various personalities for you to switch to when you feel like it. You can be a teacher in real life and a zebra in your imaginary world. Or you can opt to be a parrot, stripper, Hollywood bigshot, a spazwit.. No problems. Mix and match! Manolos with a flea market trench, or, Prada little black dress with your trusty sneakers. Do it the Carrie Bradshaw way, be creative!

Do you feel less constricted this way?

In my view, the most original way of life that I should adopt is as The Pseudoschizophrenic. Yes! This is original! I would adopt the schizophrenic behaviour, paradigm, mindset, state of mind. I will look to you a normal 23 year old girl. But what is the twist? Here’s the twist: I will “appear” to be your ubiquitous schizophrenic, but I am actually not one. I will be a false schizophrenic, you will be mistaken. I will just pretend. You won’t know, I KNOW….. Gosh, I love the kicks!

Knowledge is power!!

So at times, I will be a rock star. I will wake up whenever I want. I will trash my hotel rooms. I will chain smoke. I will chop a few lines (money is no problem) every other hour. I will go to the trashiest of parties; I will speed in my sports car. I will crash some cars and get away with it. I will hire the best of lawyers. BUT when my illness (pretend) strikes, I will morph into a completely different person. I will be “Roachz, the neighbourhood cat-saving rockstar”. I will pretend to not know that I am in actual life, a rock star. I will pretend to be detached from my day job. I will go around looking for cats to save. I will rummage trees for stuck cats. I will go around signing autographs for cat owners. Kids will love me. Grandmas too. And then, in a blink, I will turn back into my badass personality and will create massive destruction!

Apart from this act, I will cook up some other combos of pretend personalities to screw up people’s mind. They would think that I am the one who is screwed up, but I know. Yes, I know..

I will be the ultimate enigma.

What freaks you?

I am freaked out by hair. Period.

One of the most vivid nightmares that I had was being chased by a ball of hair. Memories come and go, especially dreams, but this particular beauty have never left my brain. Take a look at your respective WCs. See that clump of hair clinging between the holes of the strainer? Well, the fear started when I had a dream of myself sleeping in a small unfurnished room with very ubiquitous 60s blue mosaic tiles. There was nothing in the room; no curtains etc, only a small sink. Underneath the sink, there was a huge clump of black hair. I lurched forward to have a good look (in fear) and that it flew up and chased me around the room, like a bodiless ghost without a face. Just rage…

Back to the present, yesterday I watched a Korean horror movie depicting a vengeful spirit. The said spirit had really long hair which swept the floor. Again, the face could not be seen which made it the more eerie. Japanese vengeful spirits also suffer the same fate. Don’t believe me? See The Grudge.

I also remember a scene from Ally Mcbeal where Lucy Liu’s character in a seducing scene slowly caressed the guy’s back (I forgot the guy’s name, he was lying on his belly) with her fanned out hair’s tips while pouring hot wax from a red candle drop by drop..

Well, thanks for reading, today’s entry does not contain any messages. Just wanna jot down some thoughts.

Would you buy my book?

Just how accurate is an autobiography?

What do you do when you have screwed up but you still want the public to view you in a decent way? Or what can you do to reclaim your lost 15 minutes of fame when you desperately need the cash but have realized that you just don’t sell anymore? Write an autobiography, of course!

When you ever get to write one, you can tell everyone “your” side of the story and “your” interpretation of the issue. You can be as defensive as you want, no one is gonna say anything or interfere you in “your” book. Yes, remind them, it’s mine.. all mine….

What is the worst that could happen? Maybe someone who disagrees will write another book in retaliation to yours. Be prepared to hear all your stuff analyzed in great depth and being told that you are an idiot. No big deal, that would only increase your popularity stakes, someone cared “enough” to go through the hell and trouble of writing a book just because I wrote a bunch of inaccurate crap to save my ass…

It still don’t register in my mind that an autobiography can be historically accurate. Is there a special panel erected by the publisher to scrutinize each and every word that you write as to make sure that it is also accurate to “their” interpretation as well? Well everyday, these panel guys would conduct meetings to debate over your book chapter by chapter. Some guy will be in charge of scurrying for newspaper clippings, go through them while burning the midnight oil, and would come back the next day to tell you hey, you can’t write that in your book, on the 24th feb 1986 you.... no, you can’t…. And sometimes, these guys would get into big fights throwing chairs and karate-ing board room desks because they disagree on one issue as everyone read different newspapers which report differently.

No way, don’t think that happens.

What if one day, Saddam writes in his own autobiography: those people were just careless, they fell into that hole.. I tried to save them but the landslide killed them, burying the hole.. I did not bury them alive, it was an act of god.. I have always been a nice guy…

Michael Jackson can say too that he did not molest those kids, in actual fact: they molested him…

So what is fact, and what is fiction? And what is an autobiography?

Perhaps one day, when I get famous enough for people to give a toss, I will write my side of the story and mislead all of you into NOT believing the bigger picture and just believe in what lies that I want to convey so that you will be trapped in a game that is mine to command. Ooh.. I feel so much like an illicit cult leader.

And, I love that.

The Bali escapade

Okay, here are my Bali pics.

Enjoy!!

*commercial break*

Declaration no.1 : I am NOT American (unbiased)

The US election had been going on quite a while. Did not follow it much as I was busy being on holiday. But I couldn't seem to be able to not stay interested as eventhough it has nothing to do with me (I am not the one voting), it IS an important election as one shift of the leadership can change the way the world works and what is in store for us all in the near future.

One thing that I realize and hate about this occasion is that there IS a man who has the power to dictate which direction the world is heading to, for the good or for the worse. This is nonsence as no one should wield such a power. I have learnt to accept the fact that this is the truth. I just wished that these dudes high up in the chair could use their priorities well, for the sake of other people other than the Americans alone.

"With great powers come great responsibilities". I think Gandalf said that to Frodo.

So, Bush won the race and Kerry won't live to see his own inauguration. It would have been great to give Kerry a chance and see how he could deal with the hostilities that Bush had caused, the Democrat way. Well, its time to witness what crap of foreign policies that Bush is gonna churn out for all to enjoy.

In the meantime, pray hard.

"Tandoori-ed"

I am on fire. 

Finally back from Bali, will be able to blog after resting for a while. Not in the best of condition (very, very sunburnt and can't move around much).

See that picture up there?? Yeah, right that's a plate of red hot Tandoori chicken. One fo my favourites.

And yes, that's how bad I am at the moment. Went surfing. Fried myself real bad (note: sun screens are shit when u really need them).

Will upload pics soon!